A Moment of Clarity

Yesterday I picked BE up from school, and as we drove to swim class, I experienced one of those rare moments when we seem to be truly mother and daughter. For 10 minutes, there was no complicated past, no distrust, no fear. She dispensed with all the fronts – the baby talk, the whining, the shouting – I briefly saw her, just as she is. It was wonderful and I told her so. I told her that I really liked how she was talking with me. She loves compliments and this made her very happy. It was one of those moments that keeps me sane, that gives me hope. I love my daughter (and my son), and more than anything, I want to know her, not her defense mechanisms. I hope that these moments will become more permanent as time goes on. I have to believe that someday our relationship will be transparent and candid. That someday we’ll be natural together.


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