Earlier this week, my cousin, AK, shared a guest post about first Mother’s Day. In the second installment in this two-part series, I’m going to share my own perspective on being a mother. Before you read my post, read about AK’s quest to become a mother at Living is Easy with Eyes Closed.
This year marks my second Mother’s Day. And this year, I feel the same as I did last year – I’m not a
mother. Don’t get me wrong, I am my children’s mother. Yet somehow, I still don’t feel that I belong to the “Mom Club.” Of course, the “Mom Club” is something that I made up – I’m completely aware that it’s not real. But, occasionally we know something logically, and still don’t fully believe it.
So what is the “Mom Club?” It’s made up of a bunch of women who are immediately drawn to each other because somehow they sense that the others, just like them, have earned the title of “Mother.” They’ve known their children since birth and they see themselves in their children’s faces. They chose their children’s names, heard their first words, saw their first steps, rocked them to sleep.
And, these women are their children’s only mother – they have never called themselves “second mother.” They are supremely confident in their place in their children’s lives, because they have always been there.
In my imagination, the members of the “Mom Club” are not only drawn to each other, but they unconsciously repel anyone who doesn’t belong. And I don’t belong. I fear that they know about me and my “not a real mom” status. Perhaps if I put in enough time, if I work hard enough to make up for the time I lost, then someday I will earn my credentials.