Here’s something I wish I had known three years ago: As much as you want it to be, announcing your decision to adopt will not be like announcing a pregnancy. Not everyone will be happy for you. So, if you’ve decided to adopt, here are some things you might want to consider before sharing the good news.
1. Don’t make your announcement in a public place.
2. Don’t assume that your audience will be happy.
3. Don’t wait until you’ve made your final decision before you’ve told everyone.
The first person I told about our decision to adopt was my sister, Aunt LM. I told her because I thought she would be completely supportive – and I was right. But next, I decided to tell my mother, Grandma G, and my stepfather, PN, and unfortunately, I decided to tell them in a restaurant. And, I assumed that not only would this information be expected but that it would be good news. And lastly, this was the first time I had mentioned adoption to them at all.
If you’re guessing it didn’t go well, you’re right. If I had to do it over again, I would introduce the concept gradually, I would have told them in the privacy of my own home, and I would have realized that they might not accept it as joyously as I would have liked.
Grandma G and I experienced a brief rift in our relationship over this. Thankfully, she became a devoted grandmother and she eventually forgave me for my thoughtlessness.
If you haven’t told your family/friends yet, please take my three tips into consideration so you don’t make the same mistakes that I did.