It’s clear that I’m not perfect and probably no one is more aware of this than me. Yes, it’s true, I tend to be very hard on myself. But, there’s good news for me and all the other imperfect parents out there.
A while back, BCLC therapist RB recommended a book called “Inside I’m Hurting” by Louise Michelle Bomber. The book is meant for educators, but RB mentioned it in regards to our kids’ struggles with school. I’m not finished with the book yet, but I wanted to share the “good news” separate from my forthcoming book review.
As the author writes, “A parent or carer doesn’t have to be perfect, but needs to provide ‘good enough’ care … ‘Good enough’ care means that the caregiver is able to attune to, attend to and satisfy the basic needs of a child adequately and more than adequately, the majority of the time.”
Now, I don’t want to use this to encourage mediocrity, but simply to encourage myself and other parents that our everyday mistakes are not devastating (even if it might seem that way). According to this author, what our attachment-challenged children need is “good enough” parenting, not “perfect” parenting.
2 thoughts on “Good enough parenting”
I’m a recovering perfectionist, and I like this notion. It takes so much energy to be perfect, and I used to feel so bad when I wasn’t (which was all the time, lol), so it’s supremely better to be good enough. And I think that true intentions do count.
Funny that I now host something called PERFECT Moments, eh?