At our house, BE used to rule when it came to tantrums, but recently BC has usurped her. Usually after a tantrum is over, we talk about how hitting, yelling, etc is not ok. I tell him that it’s ok to be mad at me and to tell me so calmly.
Recenty, we were at BE’s swim school and he got mad at me about something. So he sat down on the floor and kept repeating, “I’m mad at you, mama!” One of the other moms overheard and said, “Well, at least he knows his feelings!” It’s good to know he’s listening, even if it’s only sometimes.