Open Adoption Roundtable: a visit with my “rival”

As part of the Open Adoption Bloggers group, I’m responding to the latest prompt in which we’re supposed to write about how we feel after a “visit.” My kids were adopted through the foster care system, so we don’t have an open adoption in the traditional sense of the phrase. My children  have no contact with their first parents. However, we do have monthly visits with Aunt S, who is my children’s mother’s half sister. This is why I often say that we have a “semi-open adoption.” Aunt S wanted to adopt BE, but it didn’t work out, for reasons that are not my place to discuss here.

Naturally, Aunt S and I were intially unsure of each other, but we’ve since become friends. The other day, BE thanked me for keeping up the visits with Aunt S, and I told her that I do it because I want to see Aunt S too. I really respect Aunt S, and think of her as a friend.

Aunt S has been to our house many times and has been to a number of events such as BE’s preschool graduation. We’ve been to her place as well. All of our family members know her. So, after a visit with Aunt S, I always feel great.

For reasons that I don’t fully understand, although BE is always very excited to see Aunt S, she also used to become very hyperactive before and after a visit with Aunt S. She’s gotten significantly better over the past couple years, but it’s still there. I’d like to think this will go away as she becomes more confident in her relationship with J and me and in our relationship to Aunt S.

Most importantly, we all love Aunt S.


6 thoughts on “Open Adoption Roundtable: a visit with my “rival”

  1. “I really respect Aunt S, and think of her as a friend.” That makes it so much easier for everyone, doesn’t it?

    I hope that BE continues to feel more and more secure with the visits between her two families.

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