Getting what they deserve

I’m a regular reader of Help 4 Your Family by therapist Kate Oliver and one of her posts from April has really stuck with me. In the post, she describes how to respond to a child’s demands. Here’s an excerpt from the post, titled “End the Hassle: Tell Kids what they Deserve“:

Kid: Mom, the other kids in my class don’t have to sit in a booster car seat any more! (feel free to imagine this as a whine)

Mom: You deserve to be as safe as possible and the booster keeps you safe.

My first grader, BE, has a “friend” who doesn’t always treat her very well. The two of them recently got in trouble at school and BE told me all about it (not voluntarily) when she got home. I explained to her that she deserves to have nice friends that don’t encourage her to do bad things. I suggested that she continue to be nice to this girl, but that she find other friends that are more worthy of her.

She listened – can you believe it? About a week later, she told me that her classmate, J, is her friend because she’s nice and she (BE) deserves nice friends.

Thanks for the tip, Kate!


4 thoughts on “Getting what they deserve

  1. Yay! I’m so glad it was helpful! I love this one and use it often with my children and my clients 🙂

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