Sharing trauma stories

I’ve shared many times that I get nervous when I think about explaining all the details of BC’s early life to him. So far he understands that he’s adopted and that his first mom and dad couldn’t take care of him. But I know a time will come when he (and BE) will want specifics. In her recent e-newsletter, Heather Forbes answered a similar question from a reader. The question was, “How do you give a narrative to a child that suffered neglect as an infant during the first three months of his life, especially when I don’t know the details.”

Heather responds, “The actual details of the story are not important, and in fact, should not be the focus …. The important factors are your tone of voice, facial expressions, posture, and tempo of movement and speech.”

She goes onto explain why sharing this story with a child is important. “The paradox is that in order to move forward, it takes going backwards, seeing the fullness of the trauma and experiencing it at all levels.”

Read more from Heather at


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