Unfortunately, I can have a sort of “tragic” way of thinking about things. For example, I’ve often thought of my “adoptive” parent role as being completely unique (though I’ve never said so out loud).
It’s true that many adoptive parents I’ve met have adopted infants or have adopted internationally – I haven’t met as many who have adopted older children through foster care. And of course, I know many more parents who are raising biological children. So, I’ve often thought of my parenting self as being “alone,” someone who hardly anyone can relate to. Logically, I know that’s not true, but I’ve often felt otherwise (I blame too must classic literature).
Because of this, I haven’t been very good at making new “mom” friends. As I wrote in “Ownership” and “Adoption: the first chapter of many,” I’ve gradually become more comfortable as my kids’ mom and as a mom of adoption. As a result, I’ve become more confident around other parents, and I’m not always thinking about how I have a “big secret” to hide, or how I could never relate to them. I don’t have any new best friends to boast of yet. But I have hopes that someday I might!
4 thoughts on “Making Mom Friends”
you shouldn’t try to keep it a secret! your family isn’t invalid just because it’s different. i would be very proud if i was you.
I have struggled with making “mom friends” my entire “mom” life. When I had Mack, I was a young mom, and that made things difficult. Now with Mea, I struggle for other reasons, I am not altogether sure what they all are either. Unsure if it is due to the fact that I work, or that I am older now, or if it is adoption related, but I have hope that one of these days it will all work out.
You are not alone in this. I have friends, but very few other “mom friends.”
Thanks for reading Kelly. It’s good to know that I’m not alone!