Unfortunately, I can have a sort of “tragic” way of thinking about things. For example, I’ve often thought of my “adoptive” parent role as being completely unique (though I’ve never said so out loud).
It’s true that many adoptive parents I’ve met have adopted infants or have adopted internationally – I haven’t met as many who have adopted older children through foster care. And of course, I know many more parents who are raising biological children. So, I’ve often thought of my parenting self as being “alone,” someone who hardly anyone can relate to. Logically, I know that’s not true, but I’ve often felt otherwise (I blame too must classic literature).
Because of this, I haven’t been very good at making new “mom” friends. As I wrote in “Ownership” and “Adoption: the first chapter of many,” I’ve gradually become more comfortable as my kids’ mom and as a mom of adoption. As a result, I’ve become more confident around other parents, and I’m not always thinking about how I have a “big secret” to hide, or how I could never relate to them. I don’t have any new best friends to boast of yet. But I have hopes that someday I might!