When BE and I were at the market this summer, she asked me about something that might or might not have happened when she was a baby. I responded, “I don’t know, I guess we’d have to ask your first parents.”
This kind of comment in our family isn’t unusual. but that day, BE gave an unusual response. She said, “shh, don’t say that so loud, I don’t want anyone to hear.”
Up until now, my kids haven’t been shy or outspoken about their adoption; so far, it’s just been a normal fact of life. But, lately, BE seems to be more embarrassed by her adoption. I don’t know if it’s really embarrassment, or just a desire to fit in.
As my kids change (and their attitudes about adoption) change, I’ll be challenged to keep up. But, then again, not much stays the same, not even my own opinion about adoption. It’s likely my thoughts will continue to evolve right along with theirs.
4 thoughts on “Talking about Adoption with an 8-year-old”
You have it. The feelings of both parents and kids just evolve and as they grow so do their ideas. I think you are doing just the right thing. My girls acted the same way. At times they wore their adoption like a badge of honor and other times hid it like their crazy uncle. You are doing what is best for you guys and that’s what is important. I am amazed at some of the things I read that you write.
Thank you, Lexiesnana!
Maybe she is getting ready (even at 8?) to take the lead in giving outsiders information about her adoption?
I think you’re right!