Author Archives: shannon2818

BC came home with this sticker on his shirt today. He said his day care teacher put it there. I don’t know the story behind it, but I thought it was so cute!

Book Review: Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control by Heather Forbes and Bryan Post Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control is a manifesto against attachment parenting.  I’ve never done any of my own research on attachment parenting, but I do know that it is used by many adoptive parents to create attachment with their children – especiallyContinue reading “My amygdala is calmer than your amygdala”

A few weeks ago, BE and I were on the way to school, when she asked me, “If I had been in your tummy, what would you have named me?” I know there are many girls, teenagers, and even women who think about what they would name their baby when they have one. These areContinue reading “What would you name me?”

I’m pretty good about not taking things personally, but sometimes, in a moment of weakness, I let something insignificant get to me. Tonight started out well with BE. She even made me this: But, by bedtime, I had morphed into mean mommy. Her exact words were, “you’re so mean.” Normally, I would let an insultContinue reading “Nice mom, mean mom”

Sometimes I have a strange fantasy. It usually starts in the mornings when BE is asking me for toast, BC needs a napkin, then BE spill her milk, and BC is saying, “mommy, mommy, mommy,” over and over again. So I say, ” I only have two arms, I can only do one thing atContinue reading “I am the octopus”

The kids don’t often talk about their parents, but when the topic comes up, I always try to follow the advice in the adoption books.  The authors always lecture readers about respecting their children’s first family. And, actually it’s not very hard for me to do this. Although I know a lot about their history,Continue reading “First family questions”

Yesterday I picked BE up from school, and as we drove to swim class, I experienced one of those rare moments when we seem to be truly mother and daughter. For 10 minutes, there was no complicated past, no distrust, no fear. She dispensed with all the fronts – the baby talk, the whining, theContinue reading “A Moment of Clarity”

Often, a stranger, or someone I barely know, comments on how cute my kids are. (Sometimes, I’m even fortunate enough to hear that they look just like me!) I usually just reply with “thanks.” But, part of me wants to qualify it. I want to say, “thanks, but I had nothing to do with it.”Continue reading “It Wasn’t Me”

During our first year together, I suppose I qualified as a new mom, and I felt many of the emotions that I assume new moms experience. The difference of course, is that my kids are not babies. I’ve met many great adoptive parents over the past few years, but very few of them have adoptedContinue reading “New Mom, Old Kids”

Many people in the generation before me (the baby boomers), and even some in my own generation, take issue with today’s parenting practices. In particular, they lament the fact that today’s parents try too hard to be their children’s friends, resulting in a whole generation lacking in structure and discipline. If you’re one of theseContinue reading “We’re Not Friends”