I recently met someone who works to help former prisoners re-integrate into society. I asked her what she would change to improve the system. In response, she talked about the need to provide basic things for young children, such as food, housing, and education. I’ve been interested in the importance of keeping young children withContinue reading “Foster Care is Like Chemotherapy”
Category Archives: Adoption
Validating Negativity
Right now, BC is driving me crazy. His behavior and listening skills are lacking and he doesn’t seem to have much empathy. (Now that I think about it, BE had about zero empathy at his age too, but that’s certainly not the case anymore.) I haven’t found a solution, and it’s particularly challenging because he’sContinue reading “Validating Negativity”
Talking about Adoption with an 8-year-old
When BE and I were at the market this summer, she asked me about something that might or might not have happened when she was a baby. I responded, “I don’t know, I guess we’d have to ask your first parents.” This kind of comment in our family isn’t unusual. but that day, BE gaveContinue reading “Talking about Adoption with an 8-year-old”
Three Grandpas, Two Moms, Two Dads
In Michigan, where I live, same sex marriage is illegal. Regardless of how you feel about same sex marriage, I believe our approach should be about what’s best for the children. In my opinion, children benefit from stability, but children adopted by a same sex couple are deprived of that stability. Therefore, for the sakeContinue reading “Three Grandpas, Two Moms, Two Dads”
A Story of Her Own
BE is only peripherally aware of this blog. She knows the name of it, and she knows that I write about being an adoptive mother and about living in Detroit. At her request, I read her one of my recent posts. She wanted to know why I refer to her and BC by their initials.Continue reading “A Story of Her Own”
My Two Doppelgangers
I don’t really have two, or even one, doppelgängers, but over the last four years, people have been telling me and J how much our kids look like us. This includes people who know we adopted, and people who don’t. Strangers will tell me they can tell that BE and I are mother and daughter.Continue reading “My Two Doppelgangers”
The Forgotten Garden
I read a lot of adoptee blogs, and one message I often encounter is that adoptees don’t always see adoption as entirely (or at all) positive. I recently read “The Forgotten Garden” by Kate Morton, which did an excellent job of expressing this idea. Spoiler alert: if you plan to read this book, or haven’tContinue reading “The Forgotten Garden”
What’s Your Opinion on “Gotcha Day?”
My nearly-tween daughter, BE, has long since given up cartoons for Disney Channel shows and movies such as “Hannah Montana” and “Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventure.” Her latest obsession is “Jessie,” which is about a nanny taking care of three adopted children in New York city. This family is very rich, and in one episode, celebrates elaborateContinue reading “What’s Your Opinion on “Gotcha Day?””
The Two Words of the Soul
J and I have really benefited from the Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control books by Heather Forbes and Bryan Post, and I’ve written a lot about how we’ve been using this approach. One of the key priniciples of Beyond Consequences is that there are only two true human emotions: love and fear. Other emotions such as anger, are merelyContinue reading “The Two Words of the Soul”
Happy Adoption Day #3
On June 25, 2010, we celebrated adoption day at the courthouse. The kids were just 5 and 2 when the adoption was finalized. Now, they’re 8 and 5 and about to be a 3rd grader and a kindergartener. BE remembers a little bit of that day, and in classic BE-style, the thing that she talksContinue reading “Happy Adoption Day #3”
Shannon Mackie 