A BCLC primer

If you’re curious about Beyond Consequences, but aren’t committed enough to read the books, check out Heather Forbes’ audio interview on “Adoption Perspectives.” The interview is less than an hour, and Heather shares many of the basics of BCLC. Even though we’re not new to BCLC, I still appreciated being reminded of the essentials. IfContinue reading “A BCLC primer”

Back to school, BCLC style

In Heather Forbes’ latest e-newsletter, she answers addresses the following issue from a reader: “My son is an angel at school but a terror at home. He was even student of the month last school year. But when he gets home, our home is absolute chaos and he is just nasty to me.“ BE strugglesContinue reading “Back to school, BCLC style”

An adoption conversation courtesy of Dinosaur Train

My kids are big PBS fans – I think they like every cartoon on PBS, including “Dinosaur Train.” I’ve never sat down and watched an episode with them, so I didn’t really know what it was about, other than dinosaurs riding on a train. One day, I overheard the theme song, and became interested. During theContinue reading “An adoption conversation courtesy of Dinosaur Train”

Inside I’m Hurting: splitting

I’d like to continue my series of book reviews on Inside I’m Hurting by Louise Michelle Bomber with another excerpt from Chapter 8: “Permanency and Constancy.” In this chapter, Bomber explains the concept of splitting – “the process of viewing or judging something or someone as either all bad or all good, rather than havingContinue reading “Inside I’m Hurting: splitting”

Please don’t thank me

Over the past few weeks BE has told me several times, “thank you for adopting me.” It gives me a sinking feeling every time. I don’t want her to feel that she has to be grateful, or that she owes me anything. I hope I’m not unknowingly communicating that I expect this. When she thanksContinue reading “Please don’t thank me”

It is not your fault

No matter how many years I know my kids, I’m sure there will always be things about them that I will never understand. I’ve written about BE and BC’s Life Books before, and occasionally, BE will want to look through hers together. The other night, we were looking at it, and I read one page toContinue reading “It is not your fault”

Inside I’m Hurting: permanency

Permanency is the topic of this post on the book “Inside I’m Hurting” by Louise Michelle Bomber. The book is written for educators and is a manual on working with attached challenged children in schools. In chapter 8, “Permanency and Constancy,” Bomber explains why many attachment challenged children struggle with the concept of permanency. BomberContinue reading “Inside I’m Hurting: permanency”

It’s all about relationships

As I’ve written before, I subscribe to Heather Forbes’ e-newsletter (Heather is the co-author of “Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control”). In a recent edition, Heather answered the following question: “Could you please explain more about why I should see my child’s issues as ‘regulatory’ instead of ‘behavioral’ and the neuroscience that supports this concept?” Here’sContinue reading “It’s all about relationships”