Validating Negativity

Right now, BC is driving me crazy. His behavior and listening skills are lacking and he doesn’t seem to have much empathy. (Now that I think about it, BE had about zero empathy at his age too, but that’s certainly not the case anymore.) I haven’t found a solution, and it’s particularly challenging because he’sContinue reading “Validating Negativity”

Advertisement

The Two Words of the Soul

J and I have really benefited from the Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control books by Heather Forbes and Bryan Post, and I’ve written a lot about how we’ve been using this approach. One of the key priniciples of Beyond Consequences is that there are only two true human emotions: love and fear. Other emotions such as anger, are merelyContinue reading “The Two Words of the Soul”

When Work is More Appealing than Staying Home

I have a confession: I’m nervous about being home with my kids just two days a week this summer. I’ve been working full-time for most of the years the kids have been with us, but now I’m working three days a week. BC stayed home with me two days this week and it went fine.Continue reading “When Work is More Appealing than Staying Home”

Michigan Radio: Adoption and Early Childhood Trauma

I’m a big fan of Michigan Radio (the local NPR affiliate) and I’ve often linked to stories the station has done as part of a project called “State of Opportunity.” This project looks at how the state can improve opportunities for disadvantaged children. So, I was ecstatic when the station asked me to do aContinue reading “Michigan Radio: Adoption and Early Childhood Trauma”

When your Child is a Hoarder

BE isn’t really a hoarder, but she does show a lot of interest in trash. She always wants to pick up things that she finds lying around, such as a broken crayon in her school hallway, or a cracked cell phone case in the grass. In her recent newsletter, Heather Forbes answers a reader’s questionContinue reading “When your Child is a Hoarder”

Dealing with Uncertainty

I hate uncertainty as much as anyone, and I like to be in control. This is probably why I lean towards a more rigid parenting style. But, I’ve been trying to achieve more of balance with the Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control method. In her recent newsletter, author Heather Forbes addresses how to handle children whoContinue reading “Dealing with Uncertainty”

BCLC: Rejecting Positive Messages

Heather Forbes recently sent out her latest e-mail newsletter, and as always, she answered a reader’s question. Here’s the question: “My son had a terrible early childhood history and constantly tells me he is a bad boy and that nobody loves him. Yet, no matter how much we tell him what a good boy heContinue reading “BCLC: Rejecting Positive Messages”

The New Outcome

In Heather Forbes’ latest newsletter, she answers a reader’s question about the progress of his son under “Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control” (BCLC). Here’s his question: For the past six years, we have been implementing the Beyond Consequences parenting model with our son and have seen a massive amount of improvements. We have changed our lifestyle,Continue reading “The New Outcome”

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control Volume 2

Ever since reading the first Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control (BCLC), book more than a year ago, I’ve become a big fan. I’ve finally finished Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control volume 2, and at first I was tempted to say that I preferred the second installment. But, the ideas behind volume 2 would actually beContinue reading “Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control Volume 2”

National Adoption Month: The Future of Adoption

It’s National Adoption Month again. In honor of this “event,” I’m starting a new series called “The Future of Adoption.” In this series, I’d like to explore what adoption can and should look like in the future. I’ll also make suggestions on how we can get there. I’m not a social work, law-maker, or adultContinue reading “National Adoption Month: The Future of Adoption”