Ownership

Adoption

 

I had been working at my current company nearly two years when we were first awarded custody of our kids. As a result, many of my coworkers know that the kids were adopted and heard about the adoption process as we were going through it.

The other day, one of my coworkers asked how our family is doing and I told her something that I’ve been forming in my mind for a while now. I shared that I feel like I now have ownership. Not that I “own” my kids, because I certainly don’t believe that. Instead, I feel that I own the title of “mother.” I’ve come to feel that I have claim to the name “mother” and all the authority and responsibilities that go with it.

Before this, I certainly understood that I was my children’s mother by law and I acted accordingly, but I really didn’t feel that I had earned the right. But lately, I realized, I’ve fully accepted my position not just as “mother,” but as their mother.

Look alikes

Adoption

Several times in the last week, I’ve been told that my daughter looks just like me, and that it’s clear I’m her mom. Naturally, I think my daughter is beautiful, so this is a big compliment. It also makes me happy to think that we might actually look alike, especially since we’re not biologically related. It got me thinking about the idea that couples (or even pets and their owners) can grow to look alike over time. I don’t really think that people’s features change, but that maybe people who live intimately with each other slowly adopt each others’ mannerisms and expressions. What do you think? Have you been told that you look like your adopted children?