I always make my kids write thank you notes for the gifts they receive, usually for Christmas and birthdays. BE just had her 9th birthday, so we were working on thank you notes for her friends. For the first time ever, I got a thank you note. I was so happy that she was thoughtfulContinue reading “Thankful”
Tag Archives: parenting
Breakdown
J and I still own the house we lived in before we moved to Detroit. It was empty for a few months while we were looking for new renters. One day last month, the kids were off of school and we went there so I could paint one of the rooms. I knew it wasn’tContinue reading “Breakdown”
Dealing with Uncertainty
I hate uncertainty as much as anyone, and I like to be in control. This is probably why I lean towards a more rigid parenting style. But, I’ve been trying to achieve more of balance with the Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control method. In her recent newsletter, author Heather Forbes addresses how to handle children whoContinue reading “Dealing with Uncertainty”
Do you Like Being a Mom?
BE has asked me several times whether I like being a mom. And to be honest, sometimes I feel like shouting “no,” or just saying “it’s ok.” I want to always be honest with my kids, so sometimes I struggle with how to present the truth gently instead of harshly (because I can be veryContinue reading “Do you Like Being a Mom?”
Adoption: The First Chapter of Many
I’m really not fond of that analogy about people’s lives being like a book. Unfortunately, it was the first thing I thought about when I decided to write this post. In a previous post, I wrote about accepting the title of “mom.” I wanted to continue that theme, beginning with my past desire to “overshare.”Continue reading “Adoption: The First Chapter of Many”
Ownership
I had been working at my current company nearly two years when we were first awarded custody of our kids. As a result, many of my coworkers know that the kids were adopted and heard about the adoption process as we were going through it. The other day, one of my coworkers asked howContinue reading “Ownership”
It gets better
It really does get better. If your family is struggling, and it feels like you may never be a “real family,” you probably don’t believe me. I don’t believe it much of the time myself, and it doesn’t help that I tend to be a little pessimistic. So, sometimes, I need an outside perspective to showContinue reading “It gets better”
A BCLC primer
If you’re curious about Beyond Consequences, but aren’t committed enough to read the books, check out Heather Forbes’ audio interview on “Adoption Perspectives.” The interview is less than an hour, and Heather shares many of the basics of BCLC. Even though we’re not new to BCLC, I still appreciated being reminded of the essentials. IfContinue reading “A BCLC primer”
It’s all about relationships
As I’ve written before, I subscribe to Heather Forbes’ e-newsletter (Heather is the co-author of “Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control”). In a recent edition, Heather answered the following question: “Could you please explain more about why I should see my child’s issues as ‘regulatory’ instead of ‘behavioral’ and the neuroscience that supports this concept?” Here’sContinue reading “It’s all about relationships”
A Father’s Day lesson
It’s J’s second official Father’s Day and just today, he reminded me of one reason why I appreciate him. As many of you know, J and I follow the “Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control” (BCLC) parenting theory. BCLC discourages using ultimatums, and I’ve become very adept at getting around this by using masked ultimatums. Today,Continue reading “A Father’s Day lesson”
Shannon Mackie 