Getting what they deserve

Adoption

I’m a regular reader of Help 4 Your Family by therapist Kate Oliver and one of her posts from April has really stuck with me. In the post, she describes how to respond to a child’s demands. Here’s an excerpt from the post, titled “End the Hassle: Tell Kids what they Deserve“:

Kid: Mom, the other kids in my class don’t have to sit in a booster car seat any more! (feel free to imagine this as a whine)

Mom: You deserve to be as safe as possible and the booster keeps you safe.

My first grader, BE, has a “friend” who doesn’t always treat her very well. The two of them recently got in trouble at school and BE told me all about it (not voluntarily) when she got home. I explained to her that she deserves to have nice friends that don’t encourage her to do bad things. I suggested that she continue to be nice to this girl, but that she find other friends that are more worthy of her.

She listened – can you believe it? About a week later, she told me that her classmate, J, is her friend because she’s nice and she (BE) deserves nice friends.

Thanks for the tip, Kate!