A Father’s Day lesson

Adoption

It’s J’s second official Father’s Day and just today, he reminded me of one reason why I appreciate him. As many of you know, J and I follow the “Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control” (BCLC) parenting theory. BCLC discourages using ultimatums, and I’ve become very adept at getting around this by using masked ultimatums.

Today, BE was not on her best behavior, and we were going to a baseball game later in the day. So, instead of¬†giving an ultimatum like,¬†“you’d better change your attitude, or we’re not going,” I gave her a covert one by saying, “I have a feeling we’re not going to have a very good time later today.”

Now, I’m always saying to the kids, “You get to decide if you have a good time, no one else can decide that for you.” So, after my response to BE, J repeated this line back to me – not to shame me, but to remind me that I really do have control over this. I took it seriously, and I decided to have a good time. And, it turned out better than I expected!

Me and J by BE