I know many women say they love being a mother and mostly I do too. But other times, it’s really hard. Of course, I never have any regrets about my children, but there are times when I miss two things from my pre-children days: time and peace.
First, time. It’s been two years since I’ve known my kids and many times I still miss having control over my own time. I’m introverted and there was a time when I was heavily dependent on having time where I didn’t have to see or talk to anyone. And I enjoyed deciding when this would happen and how long it would last. I think about this the most when every two minutes my kids are yelling because they need something immediately. They need more juice, or a kleenex, or they can’t find their toy, or I just have to watch how high they can jump. These things are fine individually, but they always seem to happen all at the same time, while I’m also trying to make dinner or talk on the phone.
Second, peace. I’m very quiet and nonconfrontational. I don’t even like to talk loud. Yet, both of my children love to talk and they love to do it as loudly as possible. One of our house rules is, “use inside voices,” yet this is one of the hardest for them to follow. Our house went from being peaceful and quiet before the kids, to constantly loud and chaotic after they moved in. Sometimes I miss feeling like there is solace in my own home. Like I said, I wouldn’t wish my kids away, I just wish they could appreciate occasional quiet as much as I do.
Many parents dread the “empty nest” years, but even though it’ll be sad for me, I think they’ll have their own enjoyable moments.
8 thoughts on “Time and peace”
You really hit the nail on the head with this one. I think this is common to most all parents. I CONSTANTLY tell Andrew that I can hardly remember what it feels like to have my own personal time/space where I’m not being crawled all over like I’m a jungle gym or yelled at or pushed or pulled or running around keeping track of Nora. I love her more than anything, but the only peace I think I really get anymore is the blessed quiet of the 9:00 hour when I am confident she has fallen deeply asleep and I can just sit and enjoy the silence. 🙂 I think this is the hardest job (but the most rewarding) I have ever had/seen.
Thanks for reading, Jada. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one that feels this way.
I miss being in my house alone. I miss staying up late and sleeping in.
Still, I have to think about how badly I wanted kids, and how I missed the noise back then. 🙂
Tracy – thanks for reading and commenting. I miss sleeping in too.
I know this is not ALWAYS possible but when you feel overwhelmed by the kids’ noises and their demands try to sit down and obtain peace that way. It can be overwhelming when the kids are screaming and demanding and you have to get dinner on the table by a certain time. This is when I would delegate that the kids be in another room with your SO, for example. Having raised my kids, I think about this because this chaos is finite and IMHO it is best to give the kids priority #1 and not be so obsessive (like I was) about other things like cleaning, organizing the house, marketing, dinner, etc . . . TAKE IT EASY and don’t try to be perfect and don’t try to multi-task too much — it may ease your stress.
Ahhh, I remember those days. Preschool Emily started chatting the moment her eyes opened in the morning. I would tell her that mommy’s ears are tired and need a rest!
Oh, amen, sister! I love my kids lots (even enough to keep them home for school during the year)… but personal space seems like such a precious luxury!
Like you, I realize that this time has things I’ll really miss when it’s over. But, yeah, the “grown kids with families of their own” phase will have its good things, too, I’m sure! Just trying to appreciate each era for what it is… 🙂
Thanks for reading and sympathizing, Kim!