Homework Horror

BC is in kindergarten this year and the homework situation is awful. Every Monday he brings home a packet of work that is due on Friday. For him, the work is simple – one digit addition, writing punctuation, and short spelling words like “it” and “can.” I know he can do the work, yet heContinue reading “Homework Horror”

Validating Negativity

Right now, BC is driving me crazy. His behavior and listening skills are lacking and he doesn’t seem to have much empathy. (Now that I think about it, BE had about zero empathy at his age too, but that’s certainly not the case anymore.) I haven’t found a solution, and it’s particularly challenging because he’sContinue reading “Validating Negativity”

When your Child is a Hoarder

BE isn’t really a hoarder, but she does show a lot of interest in trash. She always wants to pick up things that she finds lying around, such as a broken crayon in her school hallway, or a cracked cell phone case in the grass. In her recent newsletter, Heather Forbes answers a reader’s questionContinue reading “When your Child is a Hoarder”

Dealing with Uncertainty

I hate uncertainty¬†as much as anyone, and I like to be in control. This is probably why I lean towards a more rigid parenting style. But, I’ve been trying to achieve more of balance with the Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control method. In her recent newsletter, author Heather Forbes addresses how to handle children whoContinue reading “Dealing with Uncertainty”

BCLC: Rejecting Positive Messages

Heather Forbes recently sent out her latest e-mail newsletter, and as always, she answered a reader’s question. Here’s the question: “My son had a terrible early childhood history and constantly tells me he is a bad boy and that nobody loves him. Yet, no matter how much we tell him what a good boy heContinue reading “BCLC: Rejecting Positive Messages”

National Adoption Month: The Future of Adoption

It’s National Adoption Month again. In honor of this “event,” I’m starting a new series called “The Future of Adoption.” In this series, I’d like to explore what adoption can and should look like in the future. I’ll also make suggestions on how we can get there. I’m not a social work, law-maker, or adultContinue reading “National Adoption Month: The Future of Adoption”

Changing Choices, not Personality

Like many adoptive parents, I’ve often wondered about the balance between nature and nurture. How much influence can parents have on their children, and how much has been predetermined? For now, I’ve come to the following conclusion: I can’t change my children’s personalities, but I can influence their choices. I don’t believe that my children’sContinue reading “Changing Choices, not Personality”

Addressing Food-Related Issues

In Heather Forbes’ latest newsletter, she answers a reader’s question about a child’s refusal to eat dinner. Here’s the question: “My four-year-old sits down to dinner and says, ‘I don’t like that.’ He either won’t eat at all or won’t eat his vegetables. He then gets annoyed, trying to leave the table, whining and refusingContinue reading “Addressing Food-Related Issues”

Chores: what a difference a year makes

When BE was still in kindergarten, we began assigning her chores. It was a total disaster. It completely overwhelmed her and she often had meltdowns. We would get very frustrated and the whole situation would escalate. The worst chore for her was vacuuming under the dinner table. We hadn’t yet been introduced to BCLC, soContinue reading “Chores: what a difference a year makes”

Back to school, BCLC style

In Heather Forbes’ latest e-newsletter, she answers addresses the following issue from a reader: “My son is an angel at school but a terror at home. He was even student of the month last school year. But when he gets home, our home is absolute chaos and he is just nasty to me.“ BE strugglesContinue reading “Back to school, BCLC style”